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What I Know About Body Confidence

Varadero, Cuba. 2003

I distinctively remember THIS as one of the first times I felt totally happy in my body

I’m still trying to figure out whether it was the mojitos, the endless compliments from strangers, or the Caribbean heat

Upon my return to Canada, my new-found body confidence lasted about a week and then I went back to being insecure and nitpicking about my body

Now that is been almost 2 decades since that moment, I understand with clarity that body confidence is not determined by my weight, my shape or level of fitness

You may see something completely different in this picture than what I used to see about myself in those years. This was a time in my life when I felt fat, ugly and completely unattractive

Yet ironically, at other times when I was at my lowest body weight is been when I felt the most uncomfortable and insecure about my body also

As I’ve come to understand, and quite contrary to popular belief, confidence, is not vested upon us when we reach a certain number on the scale

I believe throughout that week in Cuba, I got to experience a moment of freedom. A moment of connection and self-acceptance of my body exactly as it was

And as I returned to feeling dis-connected and self-imposing, I lost my confidence – this is the “bad” news

The good ones though, are that since confidence is a feeling, it can be created (yes, we create, produce our own feelings) beyond what our bodies look like right this moment

My job is not to discourage you from seeking weight loss if that’s what you want for yourself (that’s certainly all I wanted those years). It is neither to encourage you to pursue it. The truth is… your weight is none of mine or anybody’s business but your own and I respect that.

But I am fierce about reminding us that body confidence, much like everything else, begins with how we choose to think about ourselves and therefore treat ourselves. And it is available to us regardless of how we look in our own and everyone else’s eyes

I know we need more tools and encouragement in this area. I am currently creating some free resources to support women on the journey of showing up for ourselves with the outmost sense of love & self-compassion. If you would like access these resources, please leave a comment or feel free to send me a message and I’ll be sure you get a copy of the goodies I have in the works

Love always,


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