The last several months I’ve encountered all kinds of opportunities to practice boundary setting.
Not just with the outside world (i.e. people, work demands, my inbox) but also with myself (things like: social media, food, etc.).
It used to be really hard until I started practicing something my husband taught me. I also have a very close friend who is a master at saying NO and feeling no remorse whatsoever for it. #inspiring
Hey both share this simple principle in the way they set boundaries.
They approach work, life and people like this:
“here’s what I can do/offer, and I’ll be happy to, would you like to take me up on it?
They state what they can and are willing to do, give and offer and they leave it up to the other party to take or deny the offer.
And here’s the subtle detail that makes this practice truly powerful:
They understand that other people’s reaction to us stating what we can offer is beyond their control. They let them have their own reaction without it impacting their own feelings or changing their offer.
And trust me, both these people are incredibly generous and compassionate. They’re confident and have tons of people want to be part of their word. Not because they are willing to please everybody. In fact, I believe is because they don’t.
They have even multiple times set boundaries on ME and you know what? Is one of the biggest gifts they give me.
If you struggle with setting boundaries, it probably looks like this:
· You stress eat – especially salty things like chips and soothing foods like pizza, bread, pastries, chocolate and ice cream;
· You feel anxious – this is a sign you’re going against what is right within you;
· You often experience frustration: a very clear sign that you’re taking on more than you truly want to
At first, practicing setting boundaries will be uncomfortable. You will be nervous, you may eat a few too many chips & chocolates and you may spend a few sleepless nights ruminating how the world will end on you.
But you know what? It is survivable and it does get easier.
As you make progress, you will get a few tests come your way, just to make sure you’re serious about it :)
But here’s the grand reward:
Peace of mind
(and WAY less stress eating)
Totally worth it!