Why Health-Obsession Is UnHealthy & Why Is So Important To Talk About It

I know this is going to sound very strange to some people but when I finished Nutrition School, I actually hired a nutritionist to help me with a few health issues I had at the time, and also, to help me regain a sense of normalcy around food. Allow me to elaborate…

The time I spend training as a holistic nutritionist was absolutely mind-blowing.

I learnt SO much and I also tried everything I was learning myself. 

I was constantly tweaking my diet, drinking tonics, and trying new supplements. 

And for as much as my physical health improved in this process, I also found myself becoming very rigid in my food choices.

That summer of 2017, when I finished my program and wrote my board exam, I literally skipped all the summer fun because, there was usually gluten, dairy, sugar, and cocktails involved.

At the time, I thought being healthy (and being a good nutritionist) meant I had to become the living image of health, eat only “clean” and organic food and engage in wholesome habits, of which I had a very narrow definition of. 

The year after I graduated, I joined a local clinic as their in-house nutritionist, and I put even more pressure on myself to be the gal who kept a good figure (I was branded a weight-loss “expert” and people came to see me for weight loss). 

I also put myself on a no Advil and no alcohol “diet” because I was obsessed with preserving a clean liver. And no, I didn’t have a liver problem, neither a problem with alcohol or over the counter medications. If I had a glass of wine a couple of times a months or an Advil on the 1st day of my period that was already a lot for me.

I also developed and even more extreme relationship with exercise. If I didn’t meet my goal or skip exercising more than 1 day a week, I would literally get anxious.

Here I thought I was doing things right and being my healthiest self. Except I really wasn’t. 

What I didn’t realize at the time, was that I was actually swapping previous disordered eating habits for new ones:

>>  I wasn’t restricting calories now, but I was eliminating a long list of foods from my diet;

>>  I wasn’t running 45km a week because I understood the implications of that on my health at that time, but I would feel guilty if one day I didn’t exercise and go over board at the next work out;

>> I wasn’t bingeing anymore, but when I tried to be “good” by denying myself ice cream, pizza or cookies, I would skip dinner so I could eat a full bag of chips instead; 

>>  I wasn’t doing detoxes and cleanses to lose weight, but my life revolved around hacks and tricks to optimize my health and constantly fix something (even when there was nothing to fix). 

At some point, I started to think to myself… is this normal? 

I mean, I was no longer dieting or bingeing… but I also wasn’t relaxed and at peace with food and my body.

While it was very hard to admit this to myself, I realized I was slowly developing a new kind of disordered relationship with food, fitness and health.

And this is something I also witness in other women, whether they are health practitioners like myself and/or our clients:

Sometimes we set off to make healthy changes but then these changes end up taking over our daily lives, energy and peace of mind.

This is why I believe is important to pause every once in a while, and evaluate not just what we do but why we do it. 

The summer can be a wonderful time of the year to connect with what we truly need and make gentle, intentional changes.

As I celebrate another year as a Holistic Nutritionist, I’m also reflecting on why I do this work and how can I continue to support you better. My mission is to help as many women as I possibly can to also turn the page on decades of food and body image struggle! 

In health and balance,

Pamela